Saturday, April 30, 2011

WHY I WANT TO SEE FAST FIVE (a "real" b movie)

I have not seen any of the Fast and Furious movies
except the first one, which I hated - Max Pule




NO CGI - At least from what I can tell from the trailers. It looks like a lot of practical effects. Crashing cars through a train off of cliffs. This is something we do not get all that often these days. Look at the movies coming out this summer. Pirates 4, Transformers 3, Green Lantern, Thor, I mean they are at least 50% cgi, and all the effects are. Don't get me wrong, I love seeing Johnny Depp on top of a huge pirate ship flying through a mess of rain fighting an octopus man, but I am just saying it is refreshing sometimes to see the real shit yo.

VIN vs THE ROCK - It was not 8 years ago when these two guys were to be the "New Action Stars" replacing the likes of Sly and Arnold. Well what happened? Both of them decided to go against their newly granted titles and show people that they can "really act" or lets get into family friendly territory for the big bucks. Tooth Fairy, The Pacifier, come on guys. Its like they took Arnold's entire 30 year career and smashed it into 5 years. The point of this is that they are back doing all they can do "ridiculous action" and they excel. They also have something to prove here so I am predicting an extra gulp of delicious bad acting and ass kicking greatness.

ORIGINAL STORY - I know this is the fifth installment of the series which is stretching it, but this is not based on a book, comic book, movie, old 70's television show, cartoon, or a ride like all the other movies this summer. I'm sure the story is dismal and stupid but at least it was written without any reservations and expectation provided by fans looking at every detail ready to hit the Internet saying that they got Thor's left shoulder pad all wrong.

A REAL B MOVIE- I know this one might be hard to digest. So ya know how there are these movies now that are going on the idea of being bad on purpose? Pirahna, Machette, Deathproof, Dead Snow, and many more that are trying to make movies that are bad on purpose. jumping into the nostalgic exploitive silliness of b movies in order to excite people who know what they are doing and get it. This movie actually honestly is just that, but a real one. Hot Chicks, Fast Cars, Macho Bad Acting, and Action, Sweet guns-a-blazing action. The problem with the former movies is that is is really easy to make a bad movie bad on purpose, cause you can do anything, their are no cliches and nothing is too silly. Chicks with guns for legs and what-not. These guys making this new Fast Five movie have to make something that they think is good and great, the result is a true to form modern b action movie that doesn't involve me having to keep in a meta state of mind reminding myself that this is SUPPOSE to be silly and stupid. It really IS silly and stupid. get it.

STUPID FUN - I am just looking for good time in the theater sometimes. Seeing Cars drive fast and fly through the air while people jump out of them while shooting guns is something that looks hilarious to me. I do not think this is going to be one the best action movies ever. I really don't think it will be all that memorable. I just want to watch something with no expectations and be entertained. To be honest I probably wont see it in the theater. I just keep seeing people roll their eyes at the movie while giving movies like Thor and Green Lantern a pass. Watch the trailer tell me this movie doesn't look hilariously awesome.

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